dclarion: (Default)
[personal profile] dclarion
It's been quite a long time since I've last posted; I'm not sure why, perhaps I've been busy, perhaps I've been preoccupied, Perhaps I've just been lazy.  At any rate, a lot has happened over the last months.  Last winter was arguably the hardest I've ever suffered; now that it's over, I'm preparing for the winter to come.  Before the snows come again, I want a warm room in which to ride them out.  To this end, I've framed a wall to support the upstairs joists at their weak point, framed my bedroom, and am working on the walk-in closet.  When framing is done, I'll wire overhead light, power outlets, and baseboard heat.  Wiring done, I'll turn to hanging doors, insulating, then close the walls with gypsum board.  It is my fervent hope that nothing goes wrong budgetwise, and the money holds to see the job through.

I know that I am capable at all of the tasks before me, yet with each timber I cut and each nail I drive, I am plagued by a lingering doubt.  I have framed, I have wired, I have insulated, I have hung gypsum board, and much more, all to the good, but never before has my life literally depended upon the quality of my work.  I constantly reassure myself that I will do the best job that can be done, but I will not know this to be true or false until the next winter has passed, and I cannot spend another winter such as the last.  If any good has come of the Slimy Bastards not speaking to me for the last year and a half, it is that I do not hear their constant beratement which would have me frozen in doubt and terror.

I will sleep tonight.  In the morning, I will have my breakfast at the soup kitchen, then carry another pair of 2x4s up the hill to my home.  I will cut and fit them, and note another step done.  I will do this.  I will do this well.


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