dclarion: (Default)
I lead with my right hand.  In fact, I'm about as right-handed as the Pope is Catholic.  Simply put, my brain is broken, and I have absolutely no fine motor co-ordination on my left side.  This makes life interesting in many ways.  For example, I shoot left-handed.  "But wait," you may object, "if you have no fine motor co-ordination on your left side, why are you operating a firearm left-handed?"  The reason is simpler than you might think.  Because of the co-ordination deficit, I am unable to close my left eye alone, in order to sight down the barrel of a longarm with my right eye.  My solution is to shoot left-handed, because I can close my right eye alone, and I do have sufficient strength and co-ordination to squeeze the trigger of a rifle and operate the bolt with my left hand.

But I'm not about to be going deer hunting any time soon.  I have a name to pay for, precluding the acquisition of a .30-06 any time soon.  So, what else is there?

"What else" includes the activity in which I have just been engaging: Applying nail polish.  I like to wear nail polish; I find the dark reds quite pretty, and the hues close to my skin tone give my fingers a cleaner look.  Applying polish to the fingernails of my left hand is easy; I hold the brush in my right hand and brush away.  Applying polish to the fingernails of my right hand is another matter.  So, how do I do it?  My dear Watson, it is elementary: I use my right hand.  And I can hear it now: "But... but... but wait..." and grinning from ear to ear like the smart-ass I am, I will tell you that I said absolutely nothing about brushing with my right hand.  I hold the brush motionless in my left hand while moving the fingernails of my right hand beneath it.

Some people do not have the intelligence of a garden pea.  Somebody had to get the leftovers.

May 2013

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