dclarion: (Default)
My landlord was just here, and I gave him the rent check.  Now, as it turns out I also do grounds maintenance here, for which he pays me a small stipend.  He handed me a check today, I am paid through the end of the year, and I have another $90 toward my name.

dclarion: (Default)
My allotment from the wonderful people at the Social Security Administration was deposited into my checking account today.  I'm probably an idiot for doing this, but I transfered $25 (2.7%) of it to what I laughingly call my savings account.

May it also be said that I am probably also a silly person for tracking my finances about a closely as an accountant would track the finances of a business concern.  I mention this because, a couple of weeks ago, I established a sub-account of my bank savings which I call "Name Change Reserve", seeding it with $75 from my savings.

I am looking at the entry I just posted to my General Ledger, and am trying to decide whether I should laugh derisively or cry bitterly.  The balance of the Name Change Reserve stands at $100, leaving only about $900 to go.

Let's not even talk about surgeries.
dclarion: (Default)
Earlier today, I stepped across the courtyard to visit the ex-, who wanted to show me the gift she had purchased for her father.  It is one of those "home weather station" arrangements, hygrometer/barometer/thermometer, in brass and cherry.  It is quite pretty, and at least as useful as it is decorative.

Anyway, while I was there, she asked the question I always dread, namely "What would you like for Xmas?"  Now, there are things that I want, surely, but I have always found it difficult to accept gifts; in no small part, I think, because throughout my life, and especially in regard to my parents, gifts always came at too high a price.

So it is, now.  There is something that I want very much.  I could never request it as a gift, partly because it commands no small price -- perhaps the better part of $1000 -- and partly because of the implications that this will have upon my relationships with those closest to me, for values of "close" most conveniently expressed in light-years.  Just the same, I want this; one could even say that I need this.  I will, then, do what I can to find and save the money I will need for its acquisition.  If I am supremely lucky, I may be able to have it by Xmas 2014, or perhaps for my 56th birthday.  Until then, I will wait, as patiently as I can, for the day that it can finally be mine.

I want my name.

May 2013

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